Hierarchy and Expectations

There’s an older generation's sensibility about closeness of relationship, about expressing love and care. I have heard one senior teacher talk told multiple times of how close he was to O-sensei; he would tell how, when he messed up or misunderstood, O-sensei would get really angry at him, yell at him. Modern people might think, that’s not love and care and closeness. But for that generation, if one is a distant person e.g., a visitor or a stranger or a guest, the treatment one receives is so friendly and kind, and one gets nothing except compliments. But for the close person, the teacher actually cares of they misunderstand, and accordingly the teacher shows upset. You don’t give that to just anyone - no insight, nothing penetrating for someone more distant. Only, “You’re great. Good job. Just keep doing what you’re doing”. No guidance.

 

There’s a logic to this way, isn’t there. The teacher expends energy on the student who is truly following and studying and committed. The teacher cares about their development and process. The student who is more distant, it’s just enough they are comfortable and enjoying themselves and keep coming to practice.

 

So as the new person, be careful of expectations to receive attention. A more constructive stance would be, "It’s my job to catch myself up to speed and get with the program. Maybe in the longer run, I earn the teacher’s trust and investment, but I don’t expect investment from them from the beginning. And I know there are people who have been there longer than me, my seniors. They have already spent more time than me making the dojo work, more time acquiring knowledge and skill, and more time building a relationship with the teacher." (So right there, we have hierarchy.)

 

And we have a similar thing between the new student and the seniors, as far as receiving attention and guidance, building relationship. No one is entitled to it from the beginning. As a new student, if I were a very serious student, I’d identify which senior people were serious students and technically capable, which senior people are closer to the teacher, which are more core or leaders in the community, which are more warm and friendly but could still show me the ropes, provide me with information easily. 

 

One can’t practice aikido by oneself. We need partners. We need variety. We need guidance (see discussion about competition). By showing up, being attentive, you can soak up many things. This is just about receiving. But regarding giving, not just showing up but giving my body, my energy to my practice partners, by giving my full attention to my teacher, it will come back to me. This is reciprocity.

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Trust between practice partners and student-teacher to a high degree is a treasure. It it's there, trust between yourself and your partners allows more honesty and more exploration. Sometimes we can see just exploration, but it’s very devolved - no feedback, no hard, “Bam!” don’t go there. With trust, you can be strict with each other but enter into a territory where you might have your partner’s strictness literally hit you (but not injure you). But trust is earned, and in the dojo, it naturally comes about by earnest, sincere giving of yourself to the technique, to your partners, to your teacher.