Rei / Etiquette (4)

Autonomy, Freedom and Responsibility

So we keep in mind, why is ‘dojo behavior’ important. It is something that’s a part of the training to cultivate the inner, or the mind, and also to communicate or indicate to others an intent or other mental state. And in a seminar hosting situation, we have strangers visiting, basically, so we are doing “good behavior” for a number of reasons: we want the other person to have a good time and we want to convey or show to them a good, or even best, version of ourselves.

It's important that we accept, fundamentally, the student has a lot of responsibility to learn. Of course, in the very beginning, the student requires help and guidance, such as being told specific things to pay attention to. In the beginning, as the new student, maybe I’m instructed or guided to pay attention to 3 things. But obviously there are more things going on than just those 3 things. Do I, the student, wait until the teacher give me more guidance? Or do I start to think, what else is there? Or do I start to observe more senior or more skilled people, and see, what else is there? Observing good examples and seeing more and more detail is really essential. But same as the “meaning it” we discussed above, another person can’t make you see. The individual person has to keep trying and trying to see. And to repeat, it’s not just about technique. We don’t just train observation about technique. We want to train observation period. So when we come to the dojo, we have the fundamental stance, I’m here to change myself, to become better able to see, to move, to sense. The whole time I’m here, I’m training my sense and movement.

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If you continue keeping to the stance of, please tell me what to do, then you cannot develop autonomy or freedom. You make yourself like a robot. You can say that’s good, you’re cooperating and helpful, but you only do what you’re told to do. But some important themes in aikido practice are how to become more yourself, how to be more capable, how to be independent, how to be free. Freedom and being myself are about ‘me’ taking action, not ‘me carrying out someone else’s instructions’. Of course, we need help and guidance and instructions in the beginning, and of course we may have personality differences, goal differences, value differences that play out and produce different results between students. Some people may be more satisfied or less satisfied with different amounts of challenge, ability, choice, structure, hierarchy, etc. But the teacher may not be interested in cultivating students who are dependent - dependent on guidance, structure, comfort, collusion. So some students will stay with such a teacher, and some will leave. Some will tolerate it and stick with it because maybe the teacher doesn't get on their case too much about doing things 'my way'. And yet others will feel the teacher is on their case too much and there’s pressure to do things a certain way. But this is the natural, organic course of events for a community - there is no right or wrong, but the leader, the teacher has big influence on who is attracted and comes and stays, and what kind of activity they do together i.e., how they practice.